Righteous Traditions~The Clayton Way

There are two completely different memories I have of family get-togethers.  One is from my mother's side of the family, and one from my dad's.

On my dad's side of the family were tons and tons of cousins, and therefore, a great time. It was a loud and boisterous group, but as kids, we never realized the adult craziness so much as we were too busy just being together, all us cousins, talking and dreaming about our futures.

But it is my mother's side of the family I want to talk about today.

Every year, around Thanksgiving, ever since I can remember, until I was in college sometime, we had a family reunion with my mother's side of the family.  It usually centered around my Great Grandma Clayton.  She had three daughters that pulled this whole thing together.  These daughters had a brother, but he was often not there because he lived much farther away than the rest of us. 

Primarily Great Aunt Gloria lived in Arkansas during my lifetime however, she had previously lived in Chicago but my memory does not recall ever going there for a reunion.  My Great Aunt Janet lived in Oklahoma and their sister, my Grandma Sternberg, my mother's mother, lived in Missouri, like we did. Later, my Grandma moved to Arkansas, near her sister Gloria, after my Grandpa passed away.

We would rotate this annual reunion between those three locations and our little family, consisting of my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother and myself would travel or stay put depending on the selected location for this reunion.

Per tradition, we traveled on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day.  We celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday, Christmas on Saturday, and that left  Sunday, the end of the holiday weekend, to travel back home. 

As a child, this felt like a long, holiday because it seemed to be packed with so much fun.  Especially when we went somewhere else.

I also remember the planning and preparations involved which usually included yummy food preparations and baked goodies. I think these pre-trip preparations were what gave the feel of a longer reunion.

One well-loved tradition was the making of the table favors.  What started as simple place cards, became a friendly competition for who could make the cutest place cards each year.  Someone was assigned place cards for Thanksgiving dinner and someone else was assigned place cards for Christmas dinner.  And each year new people were assigned each of the tasks.

Over the course of the years, these place cards became ornaments and saved favors, brought out each year in our individual homes, as decorations and fun memories.

For Christmas we drew names and all gathered around to open the gifts.  The tradition started off by a gift being selected under the tree.  It was passed to the person it belonged to.  We all watched as that family member opened his or her gift.  Upon completion of the admiration of that person's gift, the recipient would then go the tree and pick out the next gift to give.  And so it went until all gifts were opened, one at a time, properly admired and thanks given. 

I remember one particular time when Aunt Gloria drew my name and gave me some cute little girlie half slips.  I was just starting to grow old enough to care/need such things.  I was, perhaps, 7 or 8, and extremely embarrassed to open that gift and show it off to the crowd gathered.  But, in spite of the embarrassment, and good hearted teasing I received, I remember that gift from a sweet person in my life who was thoughtful of what a girl my age might need or want.

We played games, lots of games.  Baggo and Bunco and told stories.  I don't recall there ever being a fight or disagreement.  Practical jokes were played and no one's feelings got hurt.  It was good fun.  We played hours of pool and wished it were warm enough to swim in Aunt Gloria's pool.  We ate lots and lots of Christmas cookies and it seemed we were forever preparing a meal. But, in spite of the work involved, and as kids we helped a lot, (perhaps it just felt that way) we talked to people both young and old and it never seemed to make a bit of difference what age you were. Everyone was treated with respect and no one was banished to a children's table. I never had cousins directly my age and yet it seemed that they all played with me just the same.

Adults behaved in a manner that did not require children to leave the room.  Whatever they were doing, we could do too because it was good and wholesome and inviting.

While there were a variety of faiths and lack thereof within my extended family, we all still saw the value of the family and respected and loved one another.

I wish I had better and more photographs of the times we spent there.  I don't recall ever having my own camera to take pictures until the final reunion, which happened in January 1983 rather than Thanksgiving weekend.  That was a big 80th birthday party for Great Grandma Clayton.  Though our traditions of place cards and gift opening were completely different, the family was the same and it was a joyful reunion. 

We all grew older and our families expanded and suddenly the ability for everyone to gather became impossible and the core unit dispersed and smaller, new core units evolved and began their own traditions. But the memories live on and those memories are fond. 

I look forward to the day, when temple work can be done, and hopefully there will be a grand reunion once again.