The Other Side of the Family

Facebook has been really fun.  It has helped me re-connect with cousins on both sides of the family.

In my last post I talked about my mother's side of the family and how fun those reunions were. But on my dad's side of the family, everyone lived in town and we saw them more regularly.  And there seemed like there were dozens of kids all the time.  And we had so much fun. As an adult, breaking it down, I guess there weren't as many as I thought, but there were plenty and it is the memory of all that, after all, which matters to a kid.

My dad had seven brothers.  Two of which he never knew as they died in infancy.  But the other five brothers were always around when I was growing up, my dad being the baby among the six of them.  All except one were married and had children, and those children, my cousins, were a big part of my childhood memories. When our families would gather together for holidays or whateverdays, they were a loud and rowdy bunch.  There were even fights and arguments.  Rarely did a time go by that someone didn't go home angry.  The funny thing was, though, that I really was completely unconscious of those episodes because I was busy enjoying the company of cousins. 

It was with these cousins that we had great discussions about whether Santa Claus existed or not or whether or not John Denver was the greatest of all singers.  I even remember a time, staying at my cousin Krissy's house, where we went out behind her house, into the woods, and chased down "banana boy", so named because he was eating a banana.  We never caught up with him, but years later I remember Kris telling us he was a boy she went to school with and lived in her neighborhood. 

I remember discovering that my math teacher in 7th grade lived just down the street from Kris.  Who knew that teachers were regular people, living in regular houses?

As younger children, my sister and I were even babysat by our Aunt Jeanette. Her youngest child, Kris, whom we called Krissy at the time, was nearest our age. And so, as the age progression went, Kris was oldest, with my sister seven months younger,  and a year younger than my sister, came me.  And so Krissy was the boss.  And we played whatever Krissy wanted to play and we did whatever she said to do. 

One memory I have is in an old house they lived in where there was only one bathroom, and it was upstairs.  It was a huge bathroom and we three girls only went to the bathroom when Kris said it was time.  Sharon and I never wanted to take out time to go to the bathroom for our own bodily needs so we just waited until Krissy needed to go.  Then we would go into the bathroom and Sharon and I would sit on the side of the blue tub, while Kris go the first turn on the toilet.  Afterwards, because we always had to go in pecking order, Sharon was next.  And by this time I had worked up quite a need to go to the bathroom and could barely wait.  And when my turn finally came, Kris and Sharon would take off, leaving me on the toilet alone in the bathroom. 

We had other cousins, of course, that we saw less often but loved and had fun with just the same.  There were our rich cousins, Connie, Mary and Sally. And our 'only-child' cousin, Candy, whom we thought was really spoiled, but she outgrew that. Or maybe she never really was. There was Tammy who had a brother and Krissy's older sisters; Leslie, Robin, and Marilee. The rest of the cousins were boys cousins so we had little to do with them.  Too bad they had little to do with each other either because there were huge gaps in ages between the three boys that existed in that particular generation, one being my brother Bryan, Tammy's brother Bobby, and Krissy's brother Davy Pat.

As holidays went, when my grandparents were alive, the gatherings were often at their house because that is where gatherings happen when the patriarch is alive.  My grandmother would buy each grandchild a new outfit and she would hang them along the moldings of her house, surrounding the Christmas tree.  We children would all gaze and wonder at which beautiful outfit would be ours to take home that year. There was always a giant box of chocolates sitting on the console television and we kids got to help ourselves.  Each family was also sent home with a big box of chocolates, which was not as much of a 'free-for-all' at home. Sometimes the gatherings happened at the rich cousins' house, but it was a very decorated, perfect house and felt as though we could not really "be" there. But when we gathered at Krissy's house, it was comfortable, even sitting on the pile of laundry in the basement just chatting.

As years went by, cousins lost touch.  We grew, had families of our own, and became busy with new core units.  But Facebook has helped me reconnect with those cousins and it has really been a fun way to catch up and realize we have all grown up and grown older and wiser, but we are all the same somewhere deep down, and it leaves me with a warm feeling inside just knowing this.